This was a surreal day. Through a combination of sheer ignorance, entitlement, and disregard for policemen with glowy-sticks pointed at us (seriously, do people really stop for this?) we thought it would be just a couple of bicycles that we need to rev beyond and we’d be through and on our way to a tasty mountain pass. However, like Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in the Western classic “Be Quick or Be Dead”, we got hoisted on our own foolish youthful arrogance. Except, instead of getting a bullet to the gut and Sharon Stone’s bitty in our mouths, we dined on venison and drank fine mead at the top of the mountain until the pedalling subsided. Still though… a mouth unbittied is a tragic thing.
Night riding back in Toronto is not really that eventful, aside from the occasional (frequent) expressway dodging exercise, graphically represented as such:
thanks for signaling
Now, turning into a swerving, apathetic, sack of suburban regret and monotony is something of a rite of passage for most 30-somethings (stretch-40), but riding into Innsbruck in the dead of night through a mountain pass under a thunderstorm really made one feel alive. Not to mention, in equal measure envious and defiant to the idea of relative safety presented by a seatbelt and metal cage. When the descent into Innsbruck was complete, we found a jewel of a city nestled in the Alps. And next morning, I found a surprise foreign object nestled in my rear axle.
I love good-byes. There’s nothing like the unceremonious “Well, alright then, have a good one. Don’t be a squid.” to send your buddy on his way to Zurich with that warm tickle in his heart.
Yuri had to go back to the real world while B and Mer-Man pushed on to Innsbruck. Once left to their own devices, it was no gravel and full spead ahead as we treated ourselves to one of the greatest sections of road one could ever ride. Once past the Slovenia-Italy border, there was not a car, village, or police officer in sight and we obliged the circumstance. This is a riding episode. Give’r!
Not much to say here that isn’t in the video. We came, we saw, we walked a hell of a long time to go see a waterfall. Isn’t there some saying like “It’s about the journey, not the destination”? I bet that’s how people felt after seeing The Hobbit. If you haven’t seen it, save yourself 3 hours and watch this instead. Trolls included.
After a rippin’ good time in the Slovenian capital, Ljubljana, we took to the wilderness to ‘rough it’ in a fully decked out apartment near gorgeous lake Bohinj. The most important part about Bohinj is that it is said to be the home of the mythical golden-horned ram, ‘zlatorog’. Of all myths, he is my favourite, because #1 his name literally means ‘gold-horn-buck’ and #2 he brings me this most tasty beer (I don’t ask how). Before we explore Bohinj with a hike, we bring you this riding footage. Mmmm… beer.
After some spirited riding comes some spirited sight-seeing. Despite our best intentions, once again we failed to learn everything there is to know about this gorgeous Slovenian city. I get narcolepsy, Brett learns sarcasm, and Yuri says 2 words all day, letting his method acting shine through every frame.
Sometimes, you just have to get away from the heat and find a castle to visit, a mountain to cross, or a bicycle race to ruin. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. In the meantime, here’s a straightforward, reckless bit of fun on what was practically a closed course on fresh pavement in the EU-ready Croatia.
Remember: always obey all traffic laws and ride within your limits. Ok, now punch it!
Unless you’re a TV-shy recluse who calls the underside of a rock his home, or have recently awoken from a long-term coma, you should be familiar with the scenery from Season 2 of the phenomenal HBO series, A Game of Thrones. The setting for King’s Landing is the majestic old city of Dubrovnik. Also known as “Ragusa”, its history dates back to the 7th or 8th century (depending on which archeological viewpoint you fancy) which has its origins pegged as either a sanctuary for refugees from nearby Epidaurum, or maybe it was settled by the Byzantines ‘cuz they found the ru-eens of a Basilica recently. Or, maybe the ancient Greeks were there before all of these, which fits in with the theory of the father from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
The bottom line is, it’s hella-old and freakin’ amazing. Another cool thing about Dubrovnik is that it was an independent republic from the 14th century to the 19th century. That means it didn’t need no man to take care of it, I guess. Book-learn yourself more about Dubrovnik bu talking to your local pretentious, yet popular first year student majoring in some field of the Humanities
Actual Dubrovnik Citizen Pictured Here
Speaking of which, this destination was extremely popular with young Californians, who are evidently fond of going far, far away just to have the same salty water and the same exact climate as back home. I asked one couple to explain why that was, but then I got lost in their dreamy blue eyes, sandy tussled hair, and a disregard for the concept of time.
I must also warn you that I started melting well before the tour of the fort began and I’m pretty sure that the heat stroke played a role in me disrobing and dancing around like a buffoon.
After a liver-crushing, skin-bronzing respite on the glorious Dalmatian coast of Croatia, we felt bad about not having used any of our brain cells for anything other than choosing which type of fermented fruit or vegetable to destroy them with. To remedy this imbalance of power, we went up the Neretva river (an unremarkable ride that was entirely undeserving of gigabytes worth of footage) to visit the most remarkable city of Mostar. I should say, that the Neretva valley is an incredibly important piece of Croatian and Bosnian agro-economic sustenance, as well as the site of one of the most badass movies ever made about WWII. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Neretva_(film).
As you will see in the video, the focal point of the city is the Old Bridge, a UNESCO Heritage site. I remember visiting as a young seven-year-old know-it-all, thinking that the men diving from the bridge were completely off their nut. Some twenty-odd years later, I am convinced of two things: 1) Children are dumb. 2) It makes perfect sense to hurl oneself from a 90 foot bridge in nothing but a speedo and a fresh haircut, into a frigid river current of questionable depth, when there are (potentially) girls looking. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stari_Most
As the unofficial capital of the “Herzegovina” part of Bosnia-Herzegovina (the south), Mostar is as symbolic, magical, and unique as any of Bosnia’s great multi-ethnic hubs and it bristles with tales, characters, soul and unfortunate sorrow. Despite, or perhaps in spite of it, the spirit of these communities continues to endure. Much like the whole of Bosnia-Herzegovina, irrespective of the turmoil and tragedy that befalls it far too often, this meeting point of East and West, for centuries juggled between great imperial powers, has a nuance and complexity that has too many shades to be painted by a single, broad brush. Visit for a while, and you will feel it for yourself. http://zijadburgic.com/2011/10/21/bosnia-struggle-is-your-destiny/
A little walk in the park after lunch is usually a great idea. A vigorous hike off the beaten path, perhaps even better. But a freeclimb up a jagged rock face to the highest peak in the vicinity? Brilliant. We’re not sure if this supplemental episode sufficiently captures Nermin’s sheer dread or Brett’s disturbing giddyness at the prospect of falling down a jagged rock face, but we have the underwear stains to prove it. That kind of fear simply does not wash out.
Unfortunately, Yuri could not partake in this quest due to being felled by a Level 3 Sea Urchin. He remained back at the Keep, using the Ointment of Healing and Tweezers of Light. I’ll spare you the photographic evidence, but at one point it looked like someone tried to make a Hellraiser doll out of his foot.
canadianpeacocks 